Youth Gone Wild

Since I was born they couldn't hold me down
Another misfit kid, another burned-out town

Never played by the rules I never really cared
My nasty reputation takes me everywhere

I look and see it's not only me
So many others have stood where I stand
We are the young so raise your hands

They call us problem child
We spend our lives on trial
We walk an endless mile
We are the youth gone wild
We stand and we won't fall
We're the one and one for all
The writing's on the wall
We are the youth gone wild

                                  "Youth Gone Wild"

                                  Skid Row

                                  1989

 

 

Ah, the 80s.  Back when music was good (in my opinion, anyway).  It was the 80s that gave us Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Billy Idol, and the epic stardom of Michael Jackson.  We rocked out to bands like Bon Jovi, Guns N Roses, Van Halen and the notorious Queen.  The 80s is when MTV made its debut and played nothing but music videos.  I remember hearing one of their original VJs say sometime in the mid-90s, "I won't let my kids watch MTV."  I don't blame him.

 

I also remember the 80s as being the time when charismatic Christians blamed rock and roll music for lewd and crude behavior in teenagers.  When Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a bat at a concert in 1978, all of a suddent the church was in an uproar.  Heavy metal bands were tied to satanism.  Records were being played backwards to listen for subliminal messages.  Christian parents weren't allowing kids to go to concerts because they felt for sure drugs and alcohol would be found there.

 

It was easy to blame music.  It was easy to do so because it was at the forefront of the lives of teenagers.  Realistically speaking, a large percentage of parents of teenagers had listened to the equivelant of that kind of music back in the 60s and 70s.  They went to the concerts.  They listened to the records.  They had the posters of Led Zeppelin, The Grateful Dead, The Doors, and Jimi Hendrix on their bedroom walls.  Eventually the music changed and so did their lives.  Many found religion.  When they did, these religious people -- the same people who used to listen to hardcore rock and roll -- blamed the first thing they could think of: Music.

 

To blame music is a scapegoat.  It makes sense to a point, but it's a lame excuse.  I say that because teenagers don't become rebellious simply because of what they hear on the radio.  There's more to it than that.  I'll list some examples...

 

Tamerlan Tsarnaev (26) and his brother, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev (19) -- Set off bombs at the Boston Marathon which killed 3 and injured more than 170 others on April 15, 2013.

 

Adam Lanza (20) -- Shot and killed 20 small children and 5 adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14, 2012.  Before taking their lives and then his own, he shot and killed his mother, Nancy.

 

Jacob Tyler Roberts (22) -- Shot several people and killing 2 at Clackamas Towne Center outside of Portland, Oregon on December 12, 2012.

 

James Holmes (25) -- Shot and killed 12 people and wounded at least 58 others at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado on July 20, 2012.

 

Besides setting off bombs and injuring and killing people, what do these five have in common?  They're young men.  Look at their ages: 19-26.  A few days ago I thought about that and I was suddenly struck by a moment of odd silence deep in my soul.  The feeling I had was odd and somewhat unknown to me, as though an unseen force had overcome me and insisted I remain still.  I did, and the feeling was quite uncomfortable.

 

Music wasn't to blame for what these young men did.  It might not have helped, but it certainly wasn't the sole source of their decision-making.

 

This mindset -- not just of killing, but of accusing others, being prideful, wanting to do harm, being arrogant, violent and loud -- goes back a long way, even to biblical times.  When teachers of the law and Pharisees brought forth a woman caught in adultery to Jesus, they wanted him to let them stone her to death.  But Jesus suggested those free of sin be the first to cast a stone at her.  Knowing there was no such individual, the crowd started to disperse, "the older ones first" (John 8:9).  If the older ones left first, then the younger ones were among the last to leave.  Why was that?  Because the younger the man is, the more rigid, stouthearted and stubborn he tends to be.

 

It goes back further than that, even as far back as to the first sons ever born: Cain and Abel.  You know the story.  Cain killed his brother, Abel.  Why?  Because Abel was favored by God more than Cain.  Something to note, however, just as a bit of sidetrail: When God addressed Cain, He told him, "Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground" (Genesis 4:10).  Take that into consideration for a moment.  Of all the innocent blood shed throughout all generations, that's a lot of crying God hears.  Just something to think about.

 

Murders happened back then.  Innocent lives were taken.  And music was not to blame.

 

I must ask: When it came to Tamerlan, Dzhokhar, Adam, Jacob and James, what was missing during their upbringing?  Christian or otherwise, I have a feeling there was a lack of spirituality.  Perhaps a mother or father was not a permanent figure in their lives.  There might have been physical, mental, emotional, or sexual abuse.  Discipline either failed or didn't happen at all.  Respect was a commodity unattainable, out of reach.

 

Where light ceases to exist, darkness thrives.  These young men obviously thrived along with it.

 

If there's a parental figure missing in a family, the other parent must become stronger or find someone to fill the void.  I'll go further to say that sometimes, many times, parents are around, but only physically.  To men, I will say this: Any male can get a female pregnant, but it takes a man to be a father.

 

If a young man or woman isn't accepted by his or her parents, that person will seek acceptance somewhere else, even if it means being accepted by a gang.

 

Webster's dictionary defines abuse as being "a corrupt practice or custom; improper or excessive use or treatment; a deceitful act; language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily; physical maltreatment."  I'll make myself absolutely clear: Abuse doesn't belong in any relationship, any time, nor any place.  If you are having problems, seek help immediately.  Don't hide it.  Don't pretend it doesn't happen.  Don't think of it as "just a phase."  You're better than that. 

 

When I was younger, I got spanked.  And I deserved it!  Sometimes my mum would spank me with whatever was closest.  We had a weeping willow tree in the yard and when I got into trouble she told me to go get a switch.  The first time I found the smallest switch I get my hands on.  Notice I said "the first time."  Yes.  She came back with a branch!  When we lived on a farm, there was a woodshed.  I was taken to that woodshed plenty of times.  I know some people don't believe in spanking their children.  Hey, if the children grows up fine without it, great.  What I mean to say is there are too many parents who don't even attempt to ponder the idea as to whether or not they should discipline their children.  Spanking worked for me, and I turned out to be a pretty decent gentleman overall.

 

Whether we're parents or grandparents or aunts or uncles or none of the above, we can't simply be silent or non-participants when it comes to the positive nurturing of young people.  Yes, we should know our boundaries (and there should be some and they should be defined).  But to turn a blind eye to a situation that we know just shouldn't be happening, I must say that's unacceptable.  To not do something is just as bad as letting it go on happening.

 

When I was married and my wife's three children from a previous husband of hers were being abused both physically and emotionally by their father, we intervened and removed them from their home.  We had little room for them, but it was better to have them living under our roof than under his.

 

Some quotes to think upon...

 

"I think that saving a little child and bringing him to his own, is a derned sight better business than loafing around the throne." -- John Hay (Little Breeches)

 

"It is a wise child that knows his own father." -- Homer (Odyssey)

 

"Spare the rod and spoil the child." -- English Proverb

 

"The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day." -- Milton (Paradise Regained)

 

"A wise son maketh a glad father." -- Proverbs 10:1

 

"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it." -- Proverbs 22:6

 

"It is a wise father that knows his own child." -- Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice)

 

"The best way to make children good is to make them happy." -- Wilde

 

And, in closing...

 

"Children have neither past nor future; and that which seldom happens to us, they rejoice in the present." -- La Bruyere

 

My friend, it's my true belief that there aren't enough children rejoicing in the present.  That breaks my heart.  The sound of children laughing... isn't that a good thing to hear?  To see a child stick up for his parents, for his siblings, or even for himself... doesn't that make you feel good?  Children should be growing up to be positive role models, but they need positive role models in their lives right now in order to become positive role models in the future.

 

Until next time...